Aditya Chadha

It’s been over 6 months since my last post, and almost 12 since the first one. A lot has happened in between. 

I left my old job, and started a new one. I met some interesting people at work and came closer to what I thought I should be doing with my life. I made some exciting new friends. I lost some awesome friends. I created new things. I almost achieved satisfaction.

Almost.

But not quite.

Satisfaction, unfortunately, isn’t easy. Satisfaction is actually quite boring. Being satisfied means not challenging yourself, not dreaming about change, or accepting the rate of change and not asking for more. Over the past few months I’ve been trying to figure out if that’s really what I wanted. And I’ve come to realize that it isn’t.

I’m happy for what I’ve achieved over the past year. I’ve taken some steps in the right direction but I’ve still held myself back, and I don’t know why.

All my life I’ve been focused on doing multiple things at the same time. I started working while I was in school, instead of focusing on doing well in school. So, I didn’t end up being the perfect student. But I picked up some hacking skills.

When I finally started working, I focused on what I was supposed to focus on but eventually got sidetracked by stepping out of the box that most corporate work environments stick you in and looking at the “bigger picture”. So, I didn’t end end up being the perfect employee. But I understood the corporate work environment and the way “big companies” think and act a lot better.

Now I’m at a much smaller company and wondering how I can start up on my own.

Maybe this is the last time I’m going to focus on multiple things.

And that’s where this blog comes in. I’d started writing a year ago to track my transformation from yet another cog in a big wheel to a free agent creating new things.

Somewhere in the last 11 months, something killed that dream.  That thing I believe was satisfaction. Satisfied with inefficiencies because I didn’t see a way around them. Satisfied at just getting the job done, because there was just so much to do. Satisfied because of the nice safety net that I’d spun around myself.

Well, I’m not satisfied anymore. Remember - Life is short.

So, I’m back here venting, whining, frustrated but optimistic. Atleast I’m writing again.

What happens next? I don’t know.

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Tags: satisfaction, entrepreneurship, life, work